Week Three

Unabated Encroachment 

731 Points in 16 NFL games, but could have been 724 had a blatant offensive pass interference been called

THE O's ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!!

Power Rankings

1) Cobras (2-1)

The Bras are officially on fire and definitely a team to look out for in the future.  The Bras domination was so devastating that they didn't even need a full lineup this week, but they decided to embarrass TBD anyways - to send a message to the rest of the league.  Message received, The Bras would have beat TBD by 6.46 points had they only started Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco, Calvin Johnson, and Steven Gostkowski. 

2) JerrysTickleMonstars (2-1)

The Monstars edged out the Stones in the high powered match-up this week, a contest that would see a total of 295.12 points (a season high) - yet only 4.96 points separated the two teams.  Here he comes, you can see it, The Tickle MonStar is coming, "shut all your windows and doors, climb into bed, pull the sheets over your head, and don't let your feet touch the floors."

3) I'm Always Angry (2-1)

Ahhh, Wha hap-N...?  I'm Always Angry posted an embarrassing 68.84 points - of which, 34.82 of those points came from Eli Manning and Arian Foster.  They are ranked third because this week's score is 103.02 points LESS than the Angry's week two total...now we know why they are Always Angry.  It is worth noting that this week's score marks a two year franchise low, 10.6 points LESS than last season's plopper.  

4) Grin City DoWaDiddy (2-1)

A season ago, Grin City was 1-2 with an underwhelming team - fast forward a year, and Grin City is sitting pretty at 2-1 with a team that has the potential to consistently score a ton of points.  Looks like last year's proverbial punchline has matured and is packing some punch in 2012.  Grin City wants to make fools of everyone in Thunder Gun Express - fools i say.  

5) Touchdown Cheesus (2-1)

If the first three weeks of the fantasy football season were to be related to the life of Cheesus, then the first three weeks would translate to about twenty-nine and a half years.  This week, the three starting wide receivers combined for 7.8 points and were overshadowed by kicker, Jason Hanson, who scored the second most points for Cheesus with 18.  Also, Hanson has outscored every player on the Chessus roster, with exception to Matt Stafford, Michael Vick, and Reggie Bush.  Cheesus has a lot of team woes at this point, but there is no empathy in this league; but it may be appropriate to start with a mid-season name change to Field Goal Cheesus.    

6) UHavePermissionToLose (1-2)

The Losers won by a margin of 78.86, a difference larger than the amount of points their opponent scored (Ramblin' Wreck, 75.68).  The Losers would have still won their game had they started only Andrew Luck, Andre Johnson, and Jamaal Charles.  Blah, blah, blah, it's the Losers though...

7) Ramblin' Wreck (1-2)

Technically, week three is too early to press the panic button, but Ramblin' Wreck's season appears to be a literal wreck after the week three thrashing they took at the hand of the Losers.  The Wreck's have no reliable consistency among any of their players - a recipe for mediocrity.  Their roster is full of  players that fall in to three categories: the good, the bad, and the awful - I feel like I've seen it all.   However, they would be a more exciting team to watch to if they added a flying elephant to their roster.  

8) Game of Stones (0-3)

The Stones put together a game they can finally be proud of, recording a titanic 145.08 points - 42% of their three week total.  However, the Stones ran into the metaphorical iceberg that is Jerry's Tickle Monstars and the Stones are sinking like Jack Dawson at the end of "Titanic," cold and lifeless.  Time for the Stones to go home, stop crying, and call it a season.  

9) DW (3-0)

So far, the Dubs have only faced 278.46 points against, an average of 92.82 points against each week, therefore; DW should be undefeated.  The Dubs have accumulated 341.96 points on the season, ranking 7th overall in cumulative points.  Excluding the Dubs, the combined records of the four teams that have a season total of 352 points or less is 3-9.  Seems as though Yahoo! is trying to make up for the 2011 misfortunes of the Dubs.  I am impressed with the Dubs inasmuch as I am with The Beets, and they are a cartoon band.

10) TBD (0-3)

Clearly, TBD is an acronym for "The Bad Dream," or is it all a fantasy.  So far, TBD has the worst luck, facing a total of 472.7 points in the first three weeks, an average of 157.57 points against per week.  TBD has scored 310.6 points, the least of any team in Thunder Gun Express.  TBD should have two goals this year, win one game and to think of a new name before the season ends.  Until then, I will impose my own suggestions.  This week, TBD will be known as the Porky Pigs because their season is all but over.