Recently, Alanis Morissette spoke with Oprah on the OWN network's "Super Soul Sunday." Finally, a story of trauma the average American can relate to - the trauma of becoming famous, of course, this lesson comes from a Canadian's experience. During the interview, Morissette speaks about the PTSD of becoming famous after her internationally successful album, "Jagged Little Pill." She goes on to claim her suffering was so traumatizing, saying, "I remember looking down a lot. I didn't laugh for about two years."
the HORROR indeed...no laughter for two years.
At the time, Morissette was only twenty, the meteoric rise (meteors fall goddamnit!!!) of her third album was a curse wrapped in a blessing, wrapped in the curse of international notoriety, stardom, and success - the exact fame of which all aspiring musicians presumably desire. The majority of her success came from the hit single, "You Ought to Know," a song later to be revealed about Dave Coulier, the third most famous supporting cast member from "Full House," after John Stamos and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (the twins count as one person because they both played one character in the show).
The story of "You Ought to Know" started back in 1992 when recent divorcee, Dave Coulier dated the less-than-moderately-successful-Canadian musician, Alanis Morissette. On the rebound after a failed marriage, the 33 year-old Coulier briefly dated the then, 18 year-old Morissette. Tragically, the innocence of youth was reduced to tatters after the reality of the relationship came to light. Their ephemeral romance ended after a disagreement about their future and wanting different things. Rumors suggest Coulier was ready to start a family and wanted children and teenage Morissette being only a few years removed from being a child herself, didn't want to start a family. Say...you ought to know there would most definitely be a disconnect between a 33 year-old divorcee and an 18 year-old. The trauma of this break-up inspired the hit single, resulting with undeniable success, ultimately leading to self-proclaimed PTSD for poor (but really wealthy) Alanis. Life expert, Oprah wraps this jagged little pill into something easier to be swallowed, "Sudden stardom is really no different than teenage dating problems." The real lesson here is that "You Ought to Know," was truly a song proselytizing how horrible "news" stories were going to be twenty years into the future.
Two years from now, I look forward to reading about the PTSD suffered by members of Chumbawamba after their hit, "Tubtumbing." How do the numbers compare, surely Morissette's claim of trauma comes at the cost of a more successful hit - right...wrong. If anything, Chumbawamba has not only disappeared off the face of the planet due to their lack of musical prowess, but they also suffer a deeper PTSD after their more successful single.
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| Chart Positions Reached for respective Single Tracks |
Isn't it ironic...don't you think.
You Ought to know...Power Rankings
1) Brunost on Fire - (3-1)
You ought to know...this Norwegian nightmare is going Rosemary's baby on World Thunder Gun. Brunost's only loss came in Week One even though they scored the third highest point total that week. Brunost is steeping in the fiery pits of hell, not even Cheesus can save the league now.
2) Game of Stones - (3-1)
You ought to know...the Stones won the, "Jekyll and Hyde Hall of Fame Award" through the first four weeks. Two of the four weeks, the Joffery Baratheons have accumulated a total of 150.02 points - the other two weeks, the Gregor Cleganes amassed 285.58 points.
3) Cobras - (3-1)
You ought to know...the Bras have been distracting opponents with Oktoberfest-style cleavage. Opposing teams have scored, 88.64, 59.94, 78.82, and 78.68 respectively through the first four weeks. Their favorable schedule has amounted to some painful times in the whopping room, almost like a 6' 1", 217 pound NFL running back whipping their four year-old son with a stick. If AP stands for anything, we know it doesn't stand for Amazing Parent.
4) Crab Leg Bandits - (3-1)
You ought to know...team pop culture reference may change their name to # as Crab Leg Bandits fade into obscurity. The Crab Walkers totaled 59.94 points in Week Two, the lowest point total of the season for any team in World Thunder Gun. They also hold the all-time record for lowest weekly point total after scoring 38.98 points against Brunost a season ago. After starting the season 3-1, the Crab Walkers tweeted, #blessed.
5) Shoe Tie Farts - (3-1)
You ought to know...Shoe Tie Farts don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies. The Farts won Week Four's, "Hall of Fame Butterfly McQueen Award." The Farts have come out stinky, but forceful, high-pitched-squeaking away with victories - then, they are Gone with the Wind.
6) Grin City DoWaDiddy - (2-2)
You ought to know...Grin City is the Joey Gladstone of World Thunder Gun and wants teams to, "Cut It Out." Through three of the first four weeks, Grin City has scored more than 103 points, yet, they maintain the pedestrian .500 record. There ought to be a ballad about the trials and tribulations of Grin City's season.
7) Half Line Hoofers - (3-1)
You ought to know...the Hoofers are the only team in the league to not score above 100 points and still maintain a winning record. So far, it appears the Hoofers have stepped out of their Pumpkin carriage in glass slippers, danced around mounds of manure, and continue to escape unsullied.
8) DW - (2-2)
You ought to know...the Dubs are like strip clubs in Baltimore, there is nothing impressive about them, but somehow they are moderately successful. The Dubs are the Nomi Malone's of World Thunder Gun, an underdog with big dreams, however, the rest of the league are the Molly Abrams'. Not familiar with the plot of "Showgirls..." well the Dubs find their life's inspiration from one triumphing Nomi Malone.
9) Polk High - (1-3)
You ought to know...Polk High is putting their money where there mouth is, only their mouth is spewing verbal diarrhea. They staked a claim on the league championship, but are only one game better than .000 fantasy football. Team Matt Hasselback still thinks, "we want the ball and we are going to score." Polk High is better off being a shoe salesman.
10) Shartnado - (1-3)
You ought to know...the best thing about Shartnado is the self-fulfilling prophecy of the team name. When one looks into the eye of a Shartnado, they see an asshole - time to do some soul searching for this team.
11) Ship of Fools - (0-4)
You ought to know...this team is filthy, in the dirty, shameful, disgusting way. The type of filthy feeling after a week's battle with Salmonella poisoning - where you feel like you need to take a shower after each bathroom visit... don't know the feeling you say... Liar.
12) Ramblin' Wreck - (0-4)
You ought to know...there is no "it gets better" video for these poor saps. The biggest game of the season for the Wrecks comes in Week Six against the Ship of Fools - it will truly be the battle that determines the penultimate position of shame, 11th place.
Fantasy Factoids for Fantards
Congratulations to Brunost on Fire and Shoe Tie Farts as they welcomed baby Magnus von Asbjørn Knute Rockne Harrison Fjord into the world.
Final interpretations of "You Ought to Know"
you ought to know... it's twenty years after the fact, why does anyone care
you ought to know... Alanis Morissette is the 1995 Taylor Swift, why can't they just be happy..?
you ought to know... why isn't anyone concerned about Chumbawamba's PTSD..?
you ought to know...Chumbawamba officially broke up in 2012...need a tissue?
you ought to know... Unnecessary Coverage spent far to much time researching this mystery
For deeper analysis into the unnecessary, speculate the first movie Dave and Alanis may have seen.
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| Baby's first rattles are dumbbells |
Final interpretations of "You Ought to Know"
you ought to know... it's twenty years after the fact, why does anyone care
you ought to know... Alanis Morissette is the 1995 Taylor Swift, why can't they just be happy..?
you ought to know... why isn't anyone concerned about Chumbawamba's PTSD..?
you ought to know...Chumbawamba officially broke up in 2012...need a tissue?
you ought to know... Unnecessary Coverage spent far to much time researching this mystery
For deeper analysis into the unnecessary, speculate the first movie Dave and Alanis may have seen.
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